Blind Date Part 2

As I was proof reading "Blind date Part 1" I realized that it might have sounded a little shallow toward the end. I was going to apologize for that, but tough. I guess this would be a great time to give a little disclaimer. I am keepin it real, as the kids say these days. I get that from my parents. My dad used to say, "If you have the balls to smell like sh*t, then I have the balls to tell you that you smell like sh*t". Turns out that this quote applies quite literally here. One more thing, if you think I smell like sh*t, keep that to yourself or get your own blog :) With that said, on to part two... So, there I was sizing up "Gunslinger" as I found out during dinner was his online sex chat room name. Excellent. Well, as we covered Gunslinger was really smelling it up and even though I was sporting braces for the second time (why didn't I wear those damn retainers) I still felt like I had some pride at stake here.
Me speaking: Hey, let's go somewhere a little less crowded so we can talk.
Me thinking: Let's get the hell out of here fast so no one sees or smells me with you and I get to find out what it means to be a born again virgin.
Him: OK

So, there we were in my car. Windows down, of course! Gunslinger is going on and on about wanting his kids to have guns and something else that sounded a bit crazy, but I had such a migraine from the mulch smell that I don't recall much of the details. I do ironically remember that "Tainted Love" was playing on the local radio station and I was thinking, "you have no idea!". While I was trying to low ride it like some wanna be white boy to avoid being seen, Gunslinger lets out, "That is my favorite restaurant. Stop here."

Man in red: Hi, welcome to Fazolis.
Gunslinger: (turns to look at me) Get whatever you want. My treat.

Now, I don't want you to think that I am knocking on Fazolis - fresh, fast, Italian. There are days that nothing will cool you down like a strawberry icey from Fazolis, but problems are brewing, just wait.

So after Gunslinger orders an addional 6 bread sticks (this is no exaggeration, I am not creative to come up with this next part) and we sit down he begins babbling about how much he loves to wear gold jewelry, which blows my mind because until now I had completley missed the 10 Mr. T bracelets that he is gloating about. I pity the fool that tries to be hair on that guy's arm. This is when he decides to go too far. As I am still chuckling at myself, Gunslinger sees an opportunity to have a 7th bread stick, reaches across my plastic red tray, picks up said bread stick, and inserts it into his mouth. Find out if Gunslinger lives in Blind Date Part3...